Attachment Parenting is not…

It seems there are misconceptions about attachment parenting and gentle parenting.

Attachment Parenting is not…

1. Helicopter parenting
Helicopter parenting is not letting your children experience consequences or running in and saving them from every little thing.  Which has nothing to with forming strong attachments. 

2. Coddling
I’m not sure where the notion came from that keeping a young child close and tending to their needs when they cried is coddling.  I would lump “coddling” in with the no consequences group. This would be making excuses for regular bad behavior. 

3. Spoiling
I wish this one would go away. You can spoil with material things. You can spoil with lack of discipline.  You cannot spoil with love. Attachment Parenting (AP) is just one way to show love.

4. A trend
While it’s true that it’s picking up speed with the Internet, it’s not a new idea. All the major aspects of AP have been around since the beginning of time. 

5. Dr. Sears fan club
Okay. So yeah he gets credit for coining the phrase but a lot of parents find AP is merely a title for what they instinctually would do. I’m one of those parents.  I didn’t set out to be AP,  it’s just what comes naturally to me.

Now here’s a brief list of what it is…

Attachment Parenting is
1. Instinctual for many people
Your child cries, you go to them. 
You keep them close so you know their  cues.
You want them to be securely attached so they grow up the best they can.
You want them to trust you and take it seriously. 

2. A lot of smaller choices that lead to the bigger goal
AP is often described as the 7 Bs
Bedding nearby
Bonding at birth
Believing in baby’s cries
Balance (saying no when you should and taking time for yourself and spouse)
Being aware of baby trainers

I say it is a lot of smaller choices because not everyone is able to check off all 7. And that’s ok.  Being mindful and making it work are still a part of AP. I know situations can be out of the parents control so I don’t want anyone to think they can’t AP if they want because of ABC.  It’s not all or nothing. 

3. One of many different ways to parent AP is a good fit for me but plenty of good and loving parents don’t subscribe to it or other methodology.  There’s room in this community for all kinds. .

What are your thoughts?  Do you feel line you are will be AP?

About mama@heart

After 3.5 years of infertility, we were beyond thrilled to discover our last IUI had been a success! Our RE called it a miracle but we knew it was divine. Now I blog about motherhood after infertility. We practice attachment parenting with a focus on natural and gentle methods. We babywear, cloth diaper, advocate for breastfeeding and many others. I hope you enjoy.
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4 Responses to Attachment Parenting is not…

  1. Can you tell me more about #7? What are baby trainers?

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