Do the scary things 

I’ve mentioned on here before that my anxiety post partum has been a persistent struggle. Of course, a level of worry is normal after having a child,  especially your first but I haven’t felt “right”. I even got so concerned I looked in my DSM-IV to get an idea of just how bad this was getting.  It’s not great. 

So in an attempt to regain control and avoid therapy (Therapy is good.  I’m stubborn.), I’ve been doing something a bit nutty.  I’m looking my anxiety in the face and daring it to continue.  

I’m doing something every day that I find scary. Something that makes my heart pound,  my mind race and my compulsions flex.  When I do them, I’m not allowing myself to indulge those compulsions as remedy. 

Here is a brief list of what I’ve done so far-

–Let my child use chalk out front where people see him and those driving by can see the chalk marks

–Let go of his hand in the store for a few seconds 

–Not wipe him completely down when he fell at a park with goose poop everywhere…did he get it on him?  I don’t know

–Tell a stranger his real name and real age when asked instead of lying 

–Sit at the other end of the porch while he runs the length of it 

–Take a deep breath and go with it when he comes I’m contact with daily germs 

So far, I’m noticing a difference.  My heart is still pounding just writing these down but I know I need to be healthy. When I’m healthy, I’m better equipped to run my family so they can be healthy. 
 What scares you that you could face head on? Leave your comment below…

About mama@heart

After 3.5 years of infertility, we were beyond thrilled to discover our last IUI had been a success! Our RE called it a miracle but we knew it was divine. Now I blog about motherhood after infertility. We practice attachment parenting with a focus on natural and gentle methods. We babywear, cloth diaper, advocate for breastfeeding and many others. I hope you enjoy.
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