I really should have known this already but surprisingly it’s news to me.
People tell you that your relationship changes after a baby and you just nod. Maybe it’s a nod to say “sure, whatever you say” or maybe it’s a nod to just end the conversation. Maybe you think that it obviously won’t impact YOUR relationship because c’mon, you’re rock solid.
Well I’m here to tell you…
Having children changes your relationship. It really is a to be expected when you really sit and think about it. All life changing events also change relationships. It is just part for the course.
We never really dated. Not on actual dates. We more “couched”. That is to say we spent a lot time at each others homes, eating food we made (I made) and watching movies. That crap is free. (Minus the expenses for food)
And we were encouraged to take dates, actual ones, once Jude was here. We attempted to in the beginning and I discovered I’m bad at being away from my baby. Plus refer back to that expensive thing. So we went on maybe 3 dates the entire first year of parenthood.
As Jude gets older, we’re finding it’s necessary to go more frequently than that. We have gone one some free ones via disc golf but its also nice to really go out. Especially when your husband’s love language is gifts. So that’s what we’re doing. We’re dating again. Each other.
I feel grateful that our wallet situation has improved enough in the last 6 months that it’s actually possible to go out.
I would encourage all parents, especially new ones to take that hour or so and remember your first love. It’s really hard being away from your little but it’s also really nice to remind your spouse that they’re still important too. So go get ice cream or walk around a park and remember.